hmmmf.

living here is a little disheartening.
i guess that would be the right word...
i feel as if the people here do not realize that there is more to live for than today.
gossip, sex, and cursing seem to have taken over completely and it makes me so sad.
people younger than myself are throwing away their lives for things that are here one minute and gone the next.
it's as if people are viewed as disposable.
i want to make a big sign that says "God is real, people - there is more to this life!"
i don't know - it just makes me very sad.
i have had so much time to reflect and think about things.

i think people need to start smiling.
smiles make my day and i'm sure it would make someone else's.

i drove to a local carnival tonight...
i would think it to be impossible to live here and not believe in God.
this land is beautiful...only someone awesome could create this.

i suppose my prayer would be that i am used through God in some small way here.
i feel like He has put a project right in front of me, but i am sure that i will get more from it than i put in.
maybe He is reiterating how thankful i should be for my circumstances and blessings that seem to overflow..?

"Our world is desperately in need of imagination, for we have spent so much creativity devising ways of destroying our enemies that some folks don't even think it's possible (much less practical) to love them."

-Shane Claiborne, The Irresistible Revolution

my new home

i finally have a minute to update!

i have been waking up at 6:00 the past 3 mornings and working 10 hours each day.

yikes.

i am so happy to be here, though!

my apartment has the distinct "Capon" smell :)

it's the kind of place where you leave your windows open at night and (in my case) listen to the frogs, crickets, or the rain. (it rains a lot here)

i have about 4 deer that i see every morning in the woods across from my apartment, and i was informed that i might see a bear. so basically...i look both ways before i leave my doorway.

my apartment is an old house that used to be owned by a lady that worked here a long time ago. the downstairs used to be storage for meat, so there are bars on the windows down there. i live upstairs, and my neighbor is the son of the man who hired me :)

my favorite thing is my bathroom window - it is very deep set and opens from the side, and it makes me so happy!

an older waitress that is one of my kitchen supervisors is the same lady that waited on my family when i was young :) i was so excited when i realized she was still here.

i have only had to wait on 1 table this week and my boss tells me i've had compliments and said she thinks i've gotten more confident in the past 48 hours :) i happen to be serving one of the only 2 tables where people my age are present. it's a little intimidating, i suppose.

tomorrow i am looking forward to getting into the pool here - it is fresh spring water and is usually around 65 degrees, and will take your breath away.

my next day off is on Saturday, so i will try to make a little video of the Capon Springs grounds. it's like a different world up here..

when i got past North Carolina, there were nothing but mountains to see - it's crazy. it was kind of like God was saying "in case you were wondering if I'm amazing - it's true..." :)

i'll have more pictures to talk about on Saturday..

this is the Main House, the building that i work in

the water fountains that make me smile.

clotheslines for pool towels at the Main House